Have you ever had a moment when you just cant find something? Or a moment when you are looking for something and it just isnt what you want? Well... I am having one of those moments. When I stop and think about it, I have been looking for a lot of things lately. I dont know why I am having this issue lately, but I am and I dont like it.
I feel as though I have been under a lot of stress lately. Sometimes I let this stress get to me and I need to learn to just turn my worries over to Him, but I carry them around on my shoulders. So... back to what I am looking for. I am looking for His peace. I have really been struggling with my spirituality lately... and I hate it. No doubt- I love Him unconditionally, and I put him FIRST above all else. But lately I feel like 2010 has brought me a lot of worries and I just cant figure out how to let them go. I am worried about my Grandfathes health, my Brothers health, my Mothers happiness, my Grandmothers strength, my Son (why I am worried about my son, I dont know, just a mothers instinct I guess) and the list goes on and on... I need to stop worrying and find peace in Him. HELP.
Have you ever lost something and never found it? Something really important? One time, a co-worker had given me a coin that he got in the military. I lost that coin. He asked for it back and I realized I had no idea what I did with it. I didnt want to tell him that I lost it, because I know how important it is to him. So I looked for days and days and days. I turned my desk upside down for that darn coin and never found it. I prayed and prayed and prayed that I would find it, and I never did. This coin is not replacable... so I had to break the news to him. He was upset but forgave me.
Then about a month ago I lost my wedding ring. I was sitting on the couch one day playing with my son, and for some reason I looked at my hand and realized I wasnt wearing my ring. I went into a panic. I even blogged about losing that ring. I turned my house upside down. I didnt ever remember even taking it off. Long story short- I found it in the couch a day later. How did it end up there??? I have no idea.
Last night Liam was having a mom moment also. He has TONS of toys. One in particular he just loves- a plastic ball the size of a tennis ball. He dug and dug and dug in his toy box for it until he gave up and started throwing a fit. I went into his toy box and found it for him. Poor boy, it was in the very bottom of his box where he couldnt reach.
So, I have been praying that I stop looking. That I find what I am looking for and trust in Him to take care of my worries. We all have moments in life where we are looking for something... I am in my moment now.
I understand what you are saying. Just start praying when you are burdened or feel like you are looking and searching. Sometimes we don't realize how worrying is hurting us inside, and eventually it can blow up when you least expect it. Take a moment, and talk to God, let it out, and you will feel so much better. You know that Angelstar worry stone you gave me?? Well maybe you should borrow it for a while. I hold that stone, and think of how nice that was of you to give it to me.... I will pray for your peace.
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